Closing Thoughts

Final moments of 2013

As I begin drawing the curtains on 2013, flashbacks of fond and bitter moments linger in my thoughts. Can't really control what life throws at me, rather I control how I react to them. I must say though, that I am pretty pleased with how things turned out. Most valuable lesson I've learned and still learning: To love unconditionally, and not to expect but hope (in certain cases).

 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7     

 

For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? ~ Romans 8:24

(continued)
You'd scold, I'd try to pacify
We constantly argued and sometimes;
It got out of hand
We stood firm on our own principles
(to be continued....)



 

My friend, my companion, my inspiration ~ Cael

 

And So It Begins

Determined, I started searching for running events in Malaysia. Found one and signed up - The Burden Run. At first, I wondered why they call it as such, until I read the below details:-

 

Distance:

10.2KM

 

Race Illustration:

4.5KM run;

Pick up the sandbag at sandbag station;

Run with the sandbag for the remaining 5.7KM

 

I've got about 3 weeks to whoop myself into shape. We'll see what happens - it'll be a nice birthday present to myself should I complete the course. And in February, another 2 more? :)

 

It started off with me despising you

I remember the days when you'd call

And I'd be like, "darn, it's her again"

Unwillingly I answered, and attended

I put on a mask, with a fake accent

(to be continued....)

Upcoming Goals

Back home after a week. Waiting for Cael to come home. I need to clean the house! Lost a bet to a friend about losing weight, so now I need to learn how to bake a cheesecake. Got all fired up about running a marathon next year - I need to start working out.

 

I don't know where this is heading,

Heck do I know what the outcome is going to be

I just have a strong feeling about it,

And decide to take a risk with it.

 

Though all odds seem to be against it

I chose to believe

Things which the naked eye cannot comprehend

The heart will try

 

“I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people rising from this abyss. I see the lives for which I lay down my life, peaceful, useful, prosperous and happy. I see that I hold a sanctuary in their hearts, and in the hearts of their descendants, generations hence. It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”
― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

You Know You're Old When...

Your back starts to feel uncomfortable after long hours being awake and your nose starts bleeding because of body heating. That's what happened to me recently when I stayed awake through the night. Chatted up a few croupiers. Their topic of discussion - MC quota for a year (weird).

Walked to the MRT at 6:45 AM. Went to the gym, did my routine steam bath (felt asleep inside...Twice!). Supposedly collect show tickets at MBS, but theater was closed. Got checked in about 3:00 PM.

Went to a dog cafe later I the day. Saw many dogs who were playful of each other. Walked a mark, had a simple yet meaningful breakfast.

Five Days of Joy, Four Nights of Bliss

Never did I expect would it happen
It started off as an idea, a joke some may say
With an ounce of hope and faith
Dreams now became reality

Little by little, bit by bit
Suddenly found myself at a juncture...
Excited, thrilled, afraid, uncertain

.

This was taken on a Saturday, a day before the Chinese Winter Solstice. A boy helping his mom make the 'tang yuan' balls.

Taken at KLIA. It actually gets updated every time someone drinks a vodka and recommends it thru the app.

Holiday

Walked the whole day, exhausted but not sleepy. Laying on the bed trying to sleep, looking up the ceiling counting sheep. I feel happy. I wonder how can I stop snoring...

All I Want for Christmas

DJI Phantom 2 Vision.

Seemingly Awkward

TGIF! Another week to go before a week's worth of break begins. Feeling excited yet strange, eager yet holding back.

You know this blissful feeling
When your heart starts to tinkle
And emotions run wild
Objectivity temporarily shuts off

Happy as it may seem
Something doesn't feel right
It changed all of a sudden
A gap suddenly turned distance

4:30 AM

The alarm of my Blackberry goes off, I hesitantly pull myself out of bed. 5 minutes after, he starts wagging his tail and frantically jumps around. Yes, Cael knows it's walking time! Strap his chain and collar around his neck, and out we go. I enjoy the morning walks, they seem to be quiet and the air more cooling. 30 minutes later, we come home. His feet are washed and dried. My turn to start ironing my clothes, take a quick shower, prepare his room and shortly thereafter, I am on my way to the train station at 6:00 AMq

Being Positive

Is hard sometimes. So many challenges, so little time. Prioritization is paramount, yet is sometimes overlooked. Connection is key, but there's a breakdown.

Undecided

Circled back and forth between Sony and Samsung. Z1 or Note 3? Both priced at RM 2399. iPhone waiting to be replaced due to defect. Sell once fixed. Depreciation  cost over a year - RM 600. Beauty of Apple. It's like buying a Toyota v Proton. The resell value of a Toyota is way better.

 

Watched a video - Living on Borrowed Time. *moment of silence* Found it enlightening, and appreciate what I have instead of being envious for what I don't.

 

Makes me wonder - aren't we all living on borrowed time? And when each of our debt is due...

End of Holiday

Flight back at 0745. Reached KL ahead of schedule. Decided to take the train to Sentral and then hopped on a cab back home - faster compared to taking a cab all the way from KLIA. Cleaned the house a bit. Finished watching 'Phantom of the Opera', dozed off shortly after. Cael came back not too long ago. Running around and sniffing everything - probably wants to make sure that nobody has been here since he was away. Cute fella.

 

Registered a business - VTHANE ENTERPRISE. Starting something next month. Hope all goes well.

 

*yawn* continue with lullaby and will fall asleep soon...

The Serenity Prayer

Woke up early, went for a jog. Admiring the town I grew up in at the same time. Had breakfast with mom. Stayed home in the room for the rest of the day. Feels like 38 degrees outside. Humidity through the roof - worst than Singapore. Called To check on Cael. He's being a good boy. Relieved.

Watched a movie - Home Run. A pro ball player with a substance abuse problem is forced into rehab in his hometown, finding new hope when he gets honest about his checkered past, and takes on coaching duties for a misfit Little League team. Highly recommended.

A prayer in the movie caught my attention. Something worth sharing to those who are lost, in search of hope. It is called The Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 

Enjoying one moment at a time; 

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it; 

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life 

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen

Amen.

Sight

Back in Labuan. Spilt apple juice all over myself in the plane. Got news from a colleague which made my weekend. Hope another colleague is well. Cael got published in Friday's edition of The Star!

Our eyes are a gift,

To see and appreciate,

The things that exist,

In this World of beauty.

Yet why is it so,

With sight we discriminate,

Pro choose what we see as we like

And to discard what we don't.

If we were both blind

Not using sight but our hearts

Would it have been different

Will we ever be meant to be?

Cramps

Having stomach cramps (not period!), most probably stomach bloated. Blended fruits for breakfast, had chicken rice for lunch, and blended fruits again for dinner.

 

Practically another 43 days... and I still need to lose 10 KGs. My oh my...

 

Out of no where you appeared

Showing me there's a light at the end of the tunnel

Little did I know, that this is the beginning

To a new chapter in my life

 

In a blink of an eye

Things happened so fast

Before one can say anything

The heart has already given in

 

Watching the cherry blossoms

It is now spring and the birds are singing

I am now smiling looking at you

For you are the light of my life

Public Holiday

Malaysia Day = casual day at work. Best thing about public holiday is traffic, very smooth. So we decided to go out for lunch. Had a sumptuous lunch (there goes my diet plan today).

Happy Weekend

Received my Enrich card. Planning a trip, longer than a 3 hour flight time - that's the longest time I've sat on the plane till to date and it was to Bali. Searching for inspirational videos, found Nick Vujicic. Though it's a 4 minute plus video, it touched my heart and I am sure it did for millions around the world. Inspirational guy - salute! You can either be angry for what you don't have, or be thankful for what you do have. Do your best and God will do the rest.

Up and Down

 

Started my journey to the airport from the office at 1630. Took slightly above an hour to get there by public transport. Mom and Dad's flight was delayed. Sat at food outlet. Overheard three ladies (presumably from China) talking about 'work' here. One was saying that her boyfriend was heartbroken because she had to come. Beautiful women indeed, but sad case. Finished my meal, proceeded to the arrival hall. Reached brother's place at 1930.

 

Got home an 2100. Brought Cael out for a walk. He came back panting, and then slept off. Woke up and started barking (meal time!). Now, roaming about...

 

Planning to hop on a flight

To one of the seven wonders

With hopes of seeing many lights

And so shall I become fonder

 

Thin Line

Did a pre-workout by running from the office to KLCC to avoid the thunderstorm. Got caught in it anyway. Yes! Did 5km today. A bit of a backache, must be my weight. Blended fruits + milk for dinner. Cael got 1/2 as usual.

 

 

Without realizing, many of us walk on a thin line between 2 sides, everyday of our lives. Being sane or insane, grumpy or cheerful, happy or sad, good or evil, on so forth. Question is, the side we skew to more, is it a conscious decision?

Routine

It's been raining for the past few days. Didn't have much opportunity to take Cael out for a walk. He looks grumpy.

Been going to the gym quite consistent for the past week. Did a 4km jog on the treadmill just under 28 minutes. Next week's target = 5km. Another 1 month 22 days to lose 17kgs. Seems impossible.

Haven't been eating rice for a week now. Body feels much fresher. Did some grocery shopping after gym. Saw this at Isetan, probably the most expensive bunch of grapes I've seen! It's called Japan Seto Giant - definitely giant from a price standpoint ;)

Went to look for a peeler, saw this - instant Campbell soup. Worth trying next time.

The Paradox of Our Age

We have bigger houses, but smaller families;

More conveniences, but less time;

We have more degrees, but less sense;

More knowledge, but less judgment;

More experts, but more problems;

More medicines, but less healthiness;

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor;

We built more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication;

We have become long on quantity, but short on quality;

These are times of fast food but slow digestion;

Tall man but short character;

Steep profits but shallow relationships;

It's a time when there is much in the window, but nothing in the room.

 

~His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

 

 

Trash Talk

Bought 2 tickets - a weekend in Singapore another one in Labuan. Cleared the administrative task so that I won't scramble at the end of the month. Thank you online statement! Can't feel my feet, another 2 months to go. It's 19:45 and I'm clocking off now :)

Good things never come easy
When it comes your life changes entirely
Sometimes things seem unreachable
So near yet so far away
 
I walk on a thin line of that
Divides you and me
Balancing this I shall,
How long I will not tell
 
Who are we in this world?

And So The Journey Begins

20 kilos, 3 months. Did 20 minutes on the track today, felt like dying. Came home, did some laundry, brought Cael out for a jog, came home, blended some fruits, took a shower and now on my iPad enjoying my lullaby.

Typical Monday

Cael destroyed yet another one of his dinosaurs. RON95 prices will be up by 20 cents, a whole bunch of other price hikes to follow soon.

 

On this night of starry skies

The moon shines bright

And here comes the shooting star

I close my eyes and make a wish

 

Hoping that you will appear before me

I put my hands together I silently wish

I felt a warmth feeling

You appeared out of no where, I smiled

Retribution

What a wonderful weekend in Singapore - First time meeting Hammy and brought him to a dog café which I wished we had such concept here. A meaningful Sunday service with friends, an extravagant evening at Sands watching Phantom of The Opera.

 

Never watched the movie, and I initially thought this was going to be the most expensive 2 hour sleep of my life - $233! But it turned out on the contrary, I enjoyed the play and felt moved towards the end. Heard people behind me weeping softly, then again, it is a sad love story.

 

Came back today, and found that there was s disruption in the water supply - punishment for what I did at the hotel over the weekend I suppose. I confess...

 

Excerpt from today's reading:-

 

Plant a seed and watch it give birth and grow

Up into a strong and mighty tree

Filled with an abundance of leaves of hope

I watched you from afar, wondering how we will be

 

There you stood, shining so bright

The lamp the brings life to me

The light that casts away the darkness in me

Burning flames of love, swept through the forest of hate

 

 

New Year, New Resolution

Happy New Year! It's been 3-1/2 months since my last posting - I weighed 100 kilos, migrated from Android to Apple (partly thanks to Cael ;p), went back to my hometown to attend an old friend's wedding (also my first time kissing a guy - eeewwww)... and the list goes on.

 

My new year resolution this year (and it's always been the same by the way) is to resign from work. Not that I hate my job, but rather it's more of a motivation for me to manage myself properly so that when I reach the so called 'right' age, I retire. Pretty weird resolution huh, but I guess to each is own.

 

After 7 months, I finally started to frequent the gym again. Why? Let's just say it ain't a pleasant feeling weighing over 100 kilos. Darren and Kelvin signed up yesterday, the plan is to lose 21 kilos by May this year - I'm currently 96 kilos. ;)